The Munificent Lmao

When I was a younger man, I took a trip, you see

I crossed the ocean, walked for weeks through a desolate valley.

I was in search of something fine, a way to live, a how

Everyone had pointed me to the Munificent Lmao!

Ruler of a distant land, more power than a king,

And yet, revered for gentleness, and knowing many things.

Industrious, her country was, her people were all wealthy

Their skins were bright, their minds afire, their appetites were healthy.

Yet even then, with all their help, I was still prone to bungle

In searching for her palace, I got lost within the jungle.

I fought typhoops and mabeljacks and swarms of killer bees

Until I found her palace, lying low beneath the trees.

Crowds of people waited there, curiosity a feature

The Lmao rode out to meet me, astride a fearsome creature!

Her malefelant stood ten feet tall with skin that was jet black

Fifteen eyes and thirty tusks, yet she rode upon its back.

Regarding me with caution, she called out, 'Ho there, stranger!'

And yet she was amused by me, and could see I was no danger.

The Lmao stepped down with sparkling eyes, and though she wasn't tall‌,

She moved with the grace of fifty cats, and in no time at all

She stood beside me, looked me over, judged me to be bleary

'Fetch water, food and strongest ale – this traveller is weary!'

In time when I had rested, I had chance to look upon her

She could have been of any age; it was for me to ponder.

Her cloak comprised of golden cloth, her buttons tiny rubies

Her smile was wide enough for three; she gestured over to me.

'Come and sit with me,' she said, 'and share the shade awhile.'

'Grateful, ma'am, I am,' I said, 'for I have walked these many miles

'Specifically to speak to you, if you will give me license

 For of all the folk in all the world, they say you are the wisest!'

She rubbed her chin with calloused hand and squinted at the sun.

'There are many folk with wisdom, and I am only one.'

'Still, travelling is no mean feat and takes courage to do

 Since you have made the effort, I will share my thoughts with you.

'You should talk and listen, be yourself, laugh and sing and dance

 Clean your teeth and comb your hair and change your underpants.

'Get lots of sleep. Read a book - this will expand your mind

 And above all other advice I give, remember this - be kind.

'For while we travel in this life in ones, or sometimes, twos

 I cannot hope to know your fight, or walk within your shoes.

'So look within, and look without, and watch the skies above

 Take every opportunity to be with those you love.'

Her sermon done, the Lmao did stand and stretch herself awhile

I knew my trip of many weeks had been at last worthwhile.

She walked back to her malefelant and bid me a good day

So choked I was with her advice, I knew not what to say.

For surely there are many things that I have learned, and how -

Yet no-one else has wisdom like the Munificent Lmao!