Switching Decks

I was playing some cards and reading some online articles last night in the handy window between Match of the Day and bed, and one of those articles was about the government drive to modernise. It got me thinking: if the deck of cards had been designed in the modern day, how would it be different?

Of course, the numbers 2 through 10 would likely remain as they are, but I think the suits and special cards would be due for a review, especially given that most monarchies are constitutional these days. I am also keen to retain the original notion of each suit representing a pillar of society. I therefore suggest the following changes:

Clubs are the weapons in the deck, and a modern card deck would surely represent how warfare has moved on. War these days tends to be more tactically-based and politically-sensitive than it was in the days when large numbers of kilted men in chainmail would line up and hack at each other with claymores. A modern claymore is a type of anti-personnel mine activated by motion-sensors, but a card of war, while remaining no less visceral, would still need to remain somehow personal. The advent of Soviet-era small arms fire means that even the poorest revolutionaries have access to AK-47s, while modern armies are equipped with M-16s and similar. I would suggest that clubs would therefore become rifles in the modern deck.

If you believe Sting, the spades represent the swords of the soldiers, but I believe that there is an alternative, more subtle meaning.  The old notion of breaking up swords at the end of war and melting them down to make plowshares, which are useful in peacetime, suggests that this suit is both an instrument of war and peace, or can be viewed as a resource (in the case of the old deck, the right to command labour) that you are fighting to attain.  Depending on your viewpoint, spades would become column inches in the news media, or oil if you prefer the resource meaning.

Diamonds remain diamonds; thousands of conflict diamonds - those mined from areas where there is forced labour, civil war and great suffering - still make their way onto markets every year.  Nonetheless, in the global climate that now exists, in our modern deck we might prefer a move to another more commonly-considered resource, the place that global financiers go to hide - gold.  Failing that, the world's largest currency still remains a staple worldwide, so the dollar would be an appropriate alternative - but if you were remaking the deck a hundred years from now, the likely replacement would be the Chinese currency, the yuan.

Finally, modern politicians still think of the run-up to the ballot box as a battle to win hearts and minds - but while previously, people could get swept away with the urge to fight for their country or in democracies, could get away with voting for the candidate they chose with their gut, in the Information Age, it is becoming increasingly necessary to make clear, rational decisions on an informed basis, and now minds are arguably more important than hearts.  Goodness knows how they would represent these on the cards...perhaps a tiny picture of a brain, maybe?

In the modern world, you will hardly ever hear mention of a Jack or a knave, so a suitable alternative might be the Mogul, or baron, the influential individual at the top of his commercial profession with the links to lobby governments and more money than God.

The Queen represents an interesting challenge, as a modern deck would surely not be gender-specific.  Nonetheless, the alternative would need to be strong enough to topple said moguls and change their minds through the application of irresistible public pressure, while still not being of government origin themselves.  Time Magazine gave us the perfect suggestion - the Protestor - but for our purposes, I believe we can extend the definition to include any dissenter, campaigner or high-profile humanitarian.

The King has long since become a figurehead in a constitutional monarchy, and his place at the head of the table taken by the head minister of a democratically-elected government.  The very top of the tree is therefore reserved for the prime or first Minister of state - though American decks would be likely to feature a President.  And why not?

Finally, and most appropriately for a card which undercuts the poorest and trumps the richest, the Ace would be replaced by the Crisis.  Financial, nuclear or any other - these are the moments in life that make heroes or villains of us all.  The crisis would represent those things that are beyond anyone's control - and indeed, in some parts of the world, there are those that would doubtless argue that the Ace should represent a deity, as the only one with the power to topple Kings.  The modern age however, cries out for a secular card.

What of individuals?  It has been theorised that the picture cards in the deck represent genuine figures from history, so how about Rupert Murdoch as the Mogul of News Media?  Aung San Suu Kyi as the Protestor of Minds?  Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao as the Minister of Gold?  No doubt you will have ideas of your own...

Trade Unions Lead Petrol Protests in Nigeria

It was announced today that the two largest trade unions in Nigeria are set to call indefinite nationwide strikes in response to a government decision to remove a fuel subsidy that has effectively doubled the price of petrol at the pump. The move seems set to increase conflict and violence in the already unstable Niger Delta region and has already claimed its first victim following the death of student Muyideen Mustafa at the hands of police at a protest in the town of Ilorin on Tuesday.

British readers are likely to recall the fuel disputes in Britain early in the '00s that saw blockaded motorways, protests and empty pumps. While there is a world of difference between the respective situations in the UK and Nigeria, there are still parallels that can be drawn with regard to the value that each nation places on the car and the desirability of cheap fuel.

The marvellously-named Nigerian President, Goodluck Jonathan, has told the nation via his Facebook page that the current subsidy, worth a reported £1.5bn annually, was no longer sustainable. Instead, he claims that the money saved will be spent on infrastructure projects.

Nigeria is one of an increasing number of African countries who are set to exploit their natural oil reserves in the coming years. Those reserves are estimated by the IMF to be worth in excess of $20bn, a valuation that should be enough of an incentive for government to improve the country's farcical refinement facilities. As it currently stands, Nigeria is in the ridiculous position of being forced to import petrol and other refined fuels despite being Africa's largest producer of crude oil.

Such is the level of poverty in the oil-rich nation that some young Nigerians try to make a living by stealing oil from standpipes via a process known as 'Bunkering', and then refining the stolen product into diesel for use or resale. The Nigerian military is occupied with breaking up illegal refineries, which can be as simple as small pairs of water-filled cooling drums linked by pipes just a few yards long. Should the oil thieves escape military attention, the process itself is highly dangerous, with barrels of semi-refined fuel close to the open flames that heat the crude oil at the start of the process.

Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) spokesman Chris Uyot told the BBC, "We have the total backing of all Nigerian workers on this strike and mass protest." The expectation by the NLC and the Nigerian Trade Union Congress is that the country will be brought to a standstill unless the government reinstates the subsidy by the beginning of next week. If the strike does begin as planned, there are likely to be many others worldwide who will feel solidarity with the striking drivers of Nigeria.